Excited about getting married but don’t want a traditional do? Perhaps the whole thing fills you with dread? Don’t panic, there are different ways to get married without a wedding.
You’re not alone. There are many reasons why people decide not to have a standard celebration.
We all know weddings are expensive. According to the Knots real wedding study, figures reached $30,000 in 2022 for the average wedding ceremony and reception! That’s no small change.
But it might not be the money that’s holding you back from throwing a huge bash. You may just want to keep things simple with a quiet affair. Or not be the centre of attention. Maybe you just fancy doing something different.
Whatever the reason, if you’re considering ditching the hassle of a conventional wedding here are some other ideas that may float your bridal boat instead.
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1. Elope
Have you secretly been dreaming of slipping away in the night to somewhere exotic to say your vows? It doesn’t have to be a dream. You can really do it! And it doesn’t have to be exotic either.
This is a topic close to my heart because that’s just what my hubby and I did. We travelled to New York from the UK and got married at City Hall. It was wonderful, exciting and the perfect choice for us.
You could get married in your own country or choose somewhere further afield. Whether you’ve always fancied saying I do in the bright lights of Vegas or starting your married life on a beach in Phuket, the possibilities are endless.
When Eloping:
- Decide when and how you will tell people
- Accept some people may be disappointed with your choice
- Be aware of the wedding rules in the country you’re getting married
- Keep detailed plans as there can be a lot of moving parts depending on how you do it
2. Destination Wedding
Similar to an elopement, a destination wedding takes place somewhere further afield. This time with some guests. It will take some planning but if you like the idea of a combined wedding and honeymoon this could be for you. Choose your guests wisely though as they’ll be on your honeymoon with you too!
Fancy saying ‘I do’ on top of a mountain in the Alps or ‘yes’ at the water’s edge of a pretty beach in Italy? There are so many stunning locations around the world that you can say your vows.
For a Destination Wedding:
- Read reviews – make sure the experience will meet your expectations. Getting married on a beach may sound like bliss but if there are couples backed up behind you waiting it may take the shine off
- Just like an elopement, know what legalities are required for the country you’re getting married in
- Manage people’s expectations – Let guests know in advance what the arrangements are. Where will they stay and for how long? What will be required of them?
- Accept that some people won’t be able to make it. Whether it’s the money or time commitment, not everyone will be as excited about your destination wedding as you.
3. Have a Quickie Wedding
If you want to get the formalities over as soon as possible so you can move on with married life then a registry office may be for you. Or you could meet with a registrar at a different venue to sign the paperwork and make it official. Make sure you know what the rules are in advance so there are no delays. And don’t forget to organise your witnesses.
How To Celebrate After a Quickie Wedding:
- Go for a meal – grab your witnesses and celebrate with a meal in your favourite restaurant.
- Stay in a hotel – Book a gorgeous hotel. Get room service and have a luxury bath.
- Jet off straight to a honeymoon – Pack a bag and be ready to go as soon as you’ve said your ‘I dos’. Just leave plenty of time for any delays though.
- Go on an adventure – take a month to explore another country and make your honeymoon a travel experience.
4. A Do For Two
Omit the guests and just get married with you and your partner. Worried about witnesses? Some packages provide those too! You can get deals that include the works like a special meal after the vows, a hotel stay (or what about a castle!) for a couple of days, and breakfast in the morning. Perhaps even a massage too to calm those pre-wedding jitters.
Things To Consider For a Wedding For 2:
- Check what the package includes – do they provide the witnesses and organise the registrar, for example?
- Be flexible with your dates – some packages will be cheaper if booked on a weekday
- Pick somewhere you can add on a honeymoon too after
- Decide how and when you will let people know
5. Garden Party
If you’ve got a decent-sized garden space, or know someone that does, this can work very well. I attended a garden party wedding many years ago and it was lovely. The bride and groom had already signed the marriage paperwork prior to this, and it was a very relaxed event. We were lucky with the weather, so they had the ceremony outside and the reception was in a marquee. It was simple but very romantic.
Tips For a Wedding Garden Party:
- Have a backup plan if the weather turns
- Make sure that your space is big enough for a marquee
- Organise staff to serve dinner and attend to the bar
- Get some help for the clearing up – depending on the number of guests there could be a lot!
6. The Surprise Wedding
Don’t want the fuss around sorting a traditional wedding? But do want to say your vows with all of your loved ones there? Avoid a long-drawn-out process and have a surprise wedding instead. You could organise an engagement party that’s actually your wedding. Everyone you want will be there.
Surprise Wedding Tips:
- Don’t drag it on for too long because the surprise may slip out
- Pick a theme so people can dress appropriately e.g., an engagement party.
- Decide how and when you will tell everybody that this party is actually your wedding
- Choose in advance who, if anyone, you want to be in on the secret
7. Activity Wedding
If you are looking for super different ways to get married without a wedding then why not couple your hobbies with your vows? Do you think saying ‘I do’ underwater or in a hot air balloon would be really cool? These are very offbeat ideas but may suit an adventure junkie couple that wants something different.
For An Activity Wedding:
- Make sure you’re both on board with the theme as things could get very wacky!
- Manage expectations -read reviews from other couples that have done this
- Enjoy the ride and go with the flow
- Consider if, and how, you will incorporate any guests
Are you excited for an alternative wedding? Feel relief that you don’t have to marry in the traditional way? Throw away the wedding rule book and do what makes you both happy. Expectations can weigh us down when it comes to wedding planning and sometimes we can lose sight of why we’re getting married in the first place. But just like when planning a traditional wedding, set your budget and stick to it! Remember why you are doing this. Enjoy and congratulations!
