Yay you’ve been invited to a wedding! Or not… but more on that later. But what are the ‘rules’ for wedding gift etiquette?
Whether you’re a close friend of the happy couple or you’ve just found out that an acquaintance is getting married (on social media!). You probably have lots of questions about the wedding gift. What to buy? How much cash to give? Must I bother with a gift at all!?
Here are 11 tips for giving wedding gifts (plus the number 1 rule!) that can help you navigate the confusion.
RELATED: Engagement Party Etiquette and Planning Tips
1. Destination Weddings
When travelling to attend a destination wedding the costs can quickly add up. You’ll have already shelled out for flights, hotels, and outfits; let alone the time you’ve taken out of work to be there. Many couples are just very appreciative that you have made such a big effort to be there on their big day. They may have popped a note on the invite to let you know that there’s no need to purchase a gift. That being said, there’s no reason why you can’t opt for a small token gift.
2. You Haven’t Been Invited?
Found out on social media? Invite never materialised? Should you even bother getting them a gift? It all feels a bit awkward, doesn’t it? If you haven’t been invited it’s only natural to feel disappointed. There may be all sorts of reasons why. Perhaps they had a tight budget for limited guests or knew you wouldn’t be able to get childcare for their child-free wedding. You shouldn’t feel pressured to buy a gift if you weren’t invited. Though, a card and/or small gift is a thoughtful gesture.
3. You Received an Invite But Can’t Attend?
Let the couple know as soon as possible that you can’t attend. Sending them a card and a gift will show that you wish them well in their future marriage. You could send them a gift before or after the wedding day.
4. For Older Couples
People getting married later in life won’t have the same requirements as someone in their early 20s. They most likely have kids, maybe even grandkids, and all the spoons they can shake a sticky toffee pudding at. In this case, think about what they love doing together. Experience gifts can be as tame or wild as you like. From a cooking class to a kayaking lesson, you’ll find something to suit their personality. Or get them something personalised.
5. In The Wedding Party?
But what’s the wedding gift etiquette if you’ve made the cut to be in the wedding party? Well, firstly congratulations, you are considered close to the bride and/or groom! But you’ve probably paid more money than the other guests. Costs for bridal party outfits, hair & makeup, and pre-wedding activities can really add up! You may be wondering if you need to get a gift too. But… yes, it is suggested that the maid of honour, bridesmaids, and groomsmen give a wedding gift.
6. How Much To Spend?
Whether you’re giving cash or buying a gift the principle is still the same. The general ‘rule’ is the better you know the couple the more you spend. For close friends and family, it’s suggested to spend $100 / £100 or more, and for colleagues, acquaintances, and less close friends, around $25-$50 / £25-£50. Set your budget to a figure you are comfortable with and don’t forget the number 1 rule below.
7. How To Give Cash
If the couple has requested cash instead of gifts, you could just put it in a card and be done with it. But why not add a creative touch? It shows extra thought has gone into it and it’ll be more memorable when they open it. And a handmade card will stand out after they’ve opened tons of generic ones.
8. Should You Give a Handmade Gift?
Some wedding experts suggest that unless you are professional at your craft it is usually not advisable to give a handmade wedding gift. But given this is a site about handmade gifts (and I love giving and receiving them) I can only encourage it! Thoughtful handmade gifts can make wonderful mementoes. Obviously, think about how well it will be received by the couple. If it won’t be appreciated, you may be better off just staying on the list. And if it looks cheap, cobbled together in 5 minutes or like a child made it, definitely don’t give it!
Some Good Handmade Ideas Include:
- Scrapbook of the wedding that you can give to them after the event
- A memory book for the honeymoon
- Recipe book
- Book of dates
- A ticket to an experience
SHOP Printable Theatre Ticket Matchbox Gift Card Holder
Check out the Print Your Prezzie Shop where we make it easy for you to make and give unique and quirky gifts.
9. They Eloped!
Do you need to get a wedding gift for an elopement? It can come as quite a surprise, a shock even, to hear that someone you know has eloped. Now they’re married! Especially if you’re close to them and you didn’t even catch a whiff of their secret. Wedding gift etiquette can fly out the window faster than a plane to Vegas when couples choose an alternative wedding. The best gift you can give is to be happy and supportive of their plans. If want to get them a little something to mark the occasion, a thoughtful card and a token gift will be well received. Of course, if you are a close relative you may want to treat them to a special gift, a celebratory meal, or even some cash. But it isn’t required.
When my husband and I eloped, we didn’t want, or expect, any gifts. It was a lovely surprise, though, when we received some fresh flowers and a card in the post from a relative.
10. When and How To Give Gifts
Now you have an idea of what to get, and how much to spend, when do you send the gift? It used to be tradition that cards and gifts were brought to the reception and a table was set up to accommodate them. This does still happen at some weddings but, increasingly, it is expected that the gift is sent prior to the wedding. The best thing to do is check with the couple and follow their protocol. They most probably have all the information on their wedding website, so you won’t need to guess. If you haven’t a clue what to do, there’s no harm in popping them a text to ask what they would prefer. That will be better than lugging a gift to the reception and finding out there’s nowhere to put it!
11. What Are Good Wedding Gifts Besides Cash?
The best gifts to give will be something that the bride and groom will actually like and use. If no gift registry is provided, think about what type of things they enjoy as a couple. Don’t make the mistake of getting a gift that will only be enjoyed by half of the couple. And absolutely do not get tacky or inappropriate gifts. A Kama Sutra card deck will not go down well!
Some Good Gifts Include:
- Gift card for a meal for 2 – foodies will love this, especially if the place has some significance to their relationship, e.g., where they went on their first date.
- Subscription for something – Netflix for example or a fresh flower delivery
- Hotel package
- Gift experience
- Travel vouchers
- Home vouchers
- Takeaway gift card
- Movie pass
SHOP Hotel Gift Card Holder Matchbox Craft Kit
And Finally, The Number One Rule:
Ultimately, the number one rule of wedding gift etiquette advice is to only give what you can afford. Even if you are a close friend of a couple, if you’re on a tight budget don’t feel you have to follow the ‘rules’ and give beyond your means. Gift-giving should always be because you want to and not because you feel you have to. Definitely, do not compromise your own finances, or go into debt, to give a gift. Wedding gifts should be a nice surprise, not an expectation.
